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Give honest and sincere appreciation

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Dale Carnegie, in [@carnegie2010How to win friends & influence people], suggests that the only way of getting someone to do something is by making that person actually want it. Of course, there are many different ways of achieving the same. Wanting to do it not to get fired, for example, is a valid reason. However, he also cites examples of leaders such as Lincoln, that state that people want to feel appreciated, "The desire for the feeling of importance".

This desire makes you want to wear the latest styles, drive the latest cars, and talk about your brilliant children.

This is somehow similar to the argument of Start with why - Simon Sinek, in which brands lead us to believe we want something that goes beyond the product itself.

The feeling of importance is what makes billionaires donate money or somehow contribute with things that do not constitute their personal fortunes directly.

This is a quote from Schwab:

There is nothing else that so kills the ambitions of a person as criticisms from superiors. I never criticize anyone. I believe in giving a person incentive to work. So I am anxious to praise but loath to find fault. If I like anything, I am hearty in my approbation and lavish in my praise.

Carnegie also points out the difference between flattery and appreciation. The first being insincere. He also mentions that some people are so desperate for appreciation that they would eat whatever is throw at them, including blatant flattery.

He also mentions that we should try to start showing gratitude in our daily lives, to the chef of the restaurant where we enjoyed a meal, to the bus driver. I think this is something that appears many times in examples of bullet journaling, which forces you, at least, to think about what to be grateful, even if not sharing it with others.

Note on The Leader in You - Dale Carnegie

Tags: #literature-note #2021 #reading


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